It was August of 2018, I was 8.5 months pregnant with Samara and it was hot. I was in my office at work where I never ran the AC because it leaked. My sister planned a "Sip and See" which is essentially a mini baby shower meant to meet the baby after she is born. I had been reaching out to the important women in my life to get addresses so she could send the invites. I received a text message back from someone that I thought was my friend. I don't remember the exact text but it read something along the lines of "why would you need my address? We aren't even friends anymore, I haven't considered you a friend in months!" I was so incredibly hurt by this, I called Mark right away. Even though Mark was at work he took the time to talk to me, and he was very stern with me. He said "Megan, you will not cry over this girl. If she doesn't want to be your friend that is her loss." I tried to explain that I just didn't know what I did to make her mad and he said "It doesn't matter if you did anything, you reached out and she just cut you off, let it go! You have great friendships with women that would never do that to you, focus on those!"
Even though he told me not to let someone hurt me like this he still tried to step in and solve the problem regardless. It didn't work, which is okay. Mark reminded me of something important that day, he reminded me to find the people that will support you and stick with them. It is so important to select your friends wisely. Just because someone acts like your friend doesn't mean they are for you. Mark was so good at cutting someone off if they were toxic. I know he wasn't always as good at it as he was on this day, but he learned it at some point. If someone tried to upset him or his family he knew he didn't need that person in his life. I admire this in Mark. He also had an amazing ability to see someone's true colors. He observed a room more than he spoke, he stood back and watched people more than he interacted, and he learned so much from that.
In widowhood it is super important to decipher who is for you and who is not. Unfortunately there are people that will root for you to lose. There are people that will try to take advantage of your vulnerability. I am so blessed to have some pretty incredible women in my life that I know will always go out on a limb for me. Women that give me a safe place to have my feelings out loud. I have women that don't ask me to carry their grief for Mark, and women that don't look at me like I am crazy just because I am real 100% of the time. Today is apparently international women's day, and I wanted to be able to recognize the women in my life that support me, cheer me on, listen to me babble, celebrate the small victories and never make me cry. You are the people that I choose to focus on when life gets me down. Let me tell you something, Mark knew who you were, and boy was he right. You are not just the type of women who change the world, but you are the women who will change the world. I am eternally grateful for your presence in my life and on the earth. Even in my pain and in my grief I want you to know that I am committed to cheering you on, to supporting you and loving you and praying for you.